Future Future Dear God 5 (The Crunch Time Edition)

Yeah it's that crunch time Leo

Whew what have I been doing? Is it the end of week 9 already? We perform Wednesday. AH. I will try to maintain my composure and produce a legitimate blog that isn't just some wandering consciousness of panic. Something to calm down, I know just what I need. Yeah a bag of goldfish...

OH YEAH BABY I'M ROLLING IN THIS CHEESY FLAVOR LET'S DO IT.

The crunch of these goldfish is symbolic crunching that happens in the last few days of rehearsal leading up to this performance. A lot of things need to finished that haven't been. Costumes, the set, my lines, if only there was some way to travel back in time so that we could accomplish these farther from the deadline with our new frenzied productivity. Well, I mean there is the time machine, but right now it's just a silver tarp that goes over a couch, we still need to glue clocks and other hokey shit on it.

But readers, fear not, if you think these symptoms of procrastination will make the performance a flop, I have merely accomplished my mission of luring you into a false sense of skepticism. In reality, after watching run-through after run-through I am quite confident in the cast's ability to carry the show to success. Although the jokes definitely aren't funny at all to me anymore, I have to remember the rule of 3 and 1000. A joke is only funny 3 times, until you get to the 1000th time and then it's funny again. So think on that next time you're chatting up a pretty man/woman at the bar, that although they aren't laughing at all at your jokes it's only because they've heard them a few times, they haven't yet experienced the hilarity of the 1000th time. So just stay the course and keep trying, you will get there eventually.

To be fair, I've been dropping the "I'm a director" line quite often to up my level of swag. I can't say that it's been much of a hit with the ladies, but I'm waiting for that perfect moment in a loud club when she doesn't hear my following explanation that it's a One Act Festival at OSU and naively assumes that I'm in charge of some big budget Hollywood production.

It'll happen. Dear God those goldfish were good.

Until next time, remember: 3 and 1000.